Mitzi’s Happy

I didn’t plan on being a childless, divorced, woman.

This is just where my path has led me, and I am truly having the time of my life just surviving it. This is not a call for sympathy, the freedom that I have to do whatever I put my mind to is amazing. Sure, it’s limited by money, but my time is completely mine. If I stay out late at the barn, it’s ok. If I sleep in, I do not need to feel bad. The dishes get clean and laundry gets done, and there’s no additional feedback for me on how I did them wrong 🙂 There’s no yelling in my house. The way that my mind will finally let me sleep now, you can’t buy that freedom. It’s a good life.

It’s also a tough life at times. Although I can’t fathom having someone living with me again, there is no reprieve from having to do all of the tasks of owning a house and living life. It’s not even that much, between the cooking, cleaning, yard work, laundry, and other upkeep, but it is that there is no one there to talk to, or lighten the load if even for a minute. Again, I wouldn’t replace this aloneness for what was my old reality, but there is a profound sense of “no one is coming to help” that sometimes hits me harder than I’d like.

I think that’s all I want to say on it for now. Just an acknowledgment that this part of my life is amazing, and hard.